* Five inches of rain one afternoon means you do not have to water for a few days
* Florida has no income tax, but the humidity is so thick you can lick it
* Down South means the KEYS
* Your trench edging fills in with sand after every rain and weeds instantly fill the gaps
* Your Hostas melt during their first 75 degree night
* You have never been STUNG by a poisonous moth larvae
* Forty degrees is considered biting cold and more miserable than mosquitoes at ninety
* You are fascinated by a standoff between a lizard and a "lubber" grasshopper
* You grow a vine on a hurricane evacuation sign
* You call the stretch of beaches west of Apalachicola the Redneck Riviera
* You personally know someone who has run over an armadillo
* You grow at least one insect eating plant
* Your bumper sticker says "I break for boiled peanuts"
* There is at least one vinyl manatee or alligator mailbox on your street
* You garden in Flip Flops so you can feel the fire ants bite quicker
* You have posted by your phone the number to call if an alligator gets in your pool
* You love summer because vacationers have left and you can actually find a parking spot
* You have never ever tried to mimic the sound of a toad or tree frog
* You know how many bags of compost will fit in your car
* You can amuse yourself for an hour with the garden hose
* You have never cleaned your car with the leaf blower
* You carry a small stick to go pick up the newspaper, to keep spider web off your face
* You can grow prickly pear and palmetto side by side
* All you want for your birthday is a new potting shed, gardening gloves & Compost